segunda-feira, julho 07, 2008

Don Cherry & What. Ever.

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Up, Down.

Just when you think there is no way ... there is way! A friend of mine used to call it 'the wellhouse door', being a door he discovered at the bottom of a well one day :-) and Bob (of course) saying, "And when finally the bottom fell out, I became withdrawn. The only thing I knew how to do was to keep on keepin' on like a bird that flew ..."

So here are a few images culled from JB Online over the last while:
     Novaes Cartoon - G8 & G5,
     Snake & Stick,
     Malvados, André Dahmer, Cidade do Medo, Cachorrinho.

A bit of fluff from Rex Murphy: Don Cherry for Order of Canada!, and another bit of fluff from the Globe Editorial Board (who apparently took Rex seriously): For game and country, and more from a French Canadian who took it even more seriously: Let Grapes wither on the vine, and even yet another bit of fluff: The right to exaggerate (Rafe Mair), July 4.

A-and finally, homage to a Newfie humourist: Lloyd Candow, Pasadena, Newfoundland.

Novaes G8 G5G8: Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Russia, the United Kingdom, and the United States.
BRIC (?): Brazil, Russia, India, and China.
G8+5 (?): Brazil, China, India, Mexico and South Africa.

Snake StickInteresting image. Some kind of advertisement which I could not make out, but I thought the image apt for governments, just about any government - what you can't accomplish by being a snake, you accomplish with a billy stick or worse.

Malvados, André Dahmer, Cidade do Medo / City of Fear:
Malvados, André Dahmer, Cidade do Medo, Cachorrinho:I don't understand 'doctor.' You want your wife to die by being asphixiated by a ... ?

:Yes man. Make her swallow that damned little dog.

:We can't just shoot her?
After she eats the dog, yes.

Don Cherry for Order of Canada!, Rex Murphy, July 5.

Henry MorgentalerHenry Morgentaler is the most public face from one side of the most polarizing issue in Canadian religious, social and political life. It is not, therefore, a surprise that his elevation to the Order of Canada has loosed a whirlwind of debate.

I take it that his award is not a "well done" for the cause he championed, an official signal that he was on the "right" side of the contentious abortion issue. For that would reduce the awarding of the Order of Canada by the Governor-General to partisan flags, a coterie's stamp of approval or a wave of the official wand over what is approved or correct or fashionable.

Such a turn would place them near the strange activist camp of our pullulating human-rights commissions, those increasingly assertive and ungoverned hall monitors of Canadian political correctness, the bureaucratic vetters and censors of Canadian thought and speech. No adult Canadian could wish for that. By contrast, the Order of Canada exists to mark personal distinction, acknowledge "centrality" in the shaping of some current of our national life, signal excellence or singular achievement. It is, in that sense, neutral.

I refuse to believe this honours list merely mirrors the sense of what is virtuous or fashionable. That Dr. Morgentaler is a significant actor in Canada's modern public life cannot be challenged. If, like many Canadians, you feel the cause he led, that of abortion rights, is morally derogatory, you may be incensed that he has been honoured. And you have a right to be and to say so. But you would not deny his impact on modern Canada even as you deplored it.

If it were a rule that no awards were to be made, save those to people associated with only the most timid or desiccated of projects or events, then the Order of Canada and associated honorifics - such as the Governor-General's Literary Awards - would, in effect, be ribbons heralding the bland and the banal. Nothing for Mordecai Richler, a vanload for a gushfest by a green poet to goddess Gaia.

The granting of the orders, therefore, establishes beyond question that the contentiousness of a potential nominee, or association with a cause of contentiousness, is no bar to being recognized as an outstanding Canadian. Rather, the award speaks to personal impact or singular presence in the Canadian scheme of things.

Don CherryIt also speaks to the most glaring omission on the long list of those who have so far been culled from the Order of Canada: Don Cherry.

How can this be? Now I am not going to play the game of plucking other names who have been honoured, and placing their accomplishments, service, fame or impact in contest with the accomplishments, service, fame or impact of Don Cherry. It would be unfair to many who have the Order of Canada or any of its variant designations to play that game. And despite what those who simply do not like Don Cherry would prefer to believe, that is not the type of game he would endorse. He does not snipe at others to maintain or enhance his ascendancy.

But it is a strange Canada that, year by year, lets this living emblem of our emblematic game wander into the twilight of his life without an official wave toward his consequence, toward his (largely unheralded) manifold charities, his truly first-class support of our military during a time of war, and toward the real affection that millions of Canadians hold for him.

The advisory committee that chooses the names of those whom our country honours is doing itself an injury by not placing his name at the very front of whatever file it keeps.

Is it because he is controversial? Well, we have established with Henry Morgentaler that controversy is not a shibboleth. Whatever Don Cherry has said about helmets and heroism is not in the same league as the abortion debate. And let it not be forgotten, Don Cherry is a performer. His controversies are a side road of art.

On top of all this, he is one of the finest gentlemen off-broadcast I have ever met. He approaches Howie Meeker territory in this regard, which is the highest compliment I can offer. He thrills when he is present. And he has brought more smiles to young faces than the invention of ice cream and bubble gum combined. In the immortal phrase of Dr. Johnson, he has expanded "the public stock of harmless pleasure."

How can we continue to neglect Don Cherry? And how can the Governor-General and those who advise her withhold from his eloquent neck an honour that he has long since earned tenfold over and then some?

Please, do the right thing. Soon.

For game and country, July 4.

DON CHERRY AND THE ORDER OF CANADA, For game and country, July 8, 2008.

Don Cherry, having reflected Canadians back to themselves on CBC television for nearly three decades, merits the Order of Canada. Like us all, he is imperfect and has said foolish things. But he has a passion for his country, its people and the game they love - a passion exemplified in a kiss he planted on a fierce, toothless hockey player, Doug Gilmour, on national television; by his boundless support for our men and women serving abroad; by the countless causes to which he lends his name. His is a singular voice, and his contribution to this country is singular.

He is an Everyman with a national platform. An electrician's son, a former minor-league hockey player, with the ornery viewpoint of someone whose rear end is permanently bruised from years being bounced about on the lumpy seats of old buses. A man whose coaching claim to fame was, apart from being able to tap Bobby Orr on the shoulder, costing his team a shot at the Stanley Cup final by putting too many men on the ice in the closing moments. Woe and he are no strangers.

In a few short minutes every Saturday night, he has established himself as the most distinctive authority on our national sport. He has become one of hockey's finest ambassadors, giving his time unselfishly whenever his presence might brighten the day of a sick child. He has done as much for our game as Randy Bachman, named to the order this year, has done for music. And he is no more controversial than a certain doctor honoured for his contributions to health care.

Mr. Cherry blusters; sometimes he bullies. He has given an occasional elbow smash to francophone hockey players and fans. (We will not sugarcoat his excesses.) He called visor-wearing players "sucks" and asserted that they are made up disproportionately of francophones and Europeans. He called freestyle skier Jean-Luc Brassard, the flag-bearer in the opening ceremony at the Nagano Olympics, a "French guy, some skier nobody knows about." He blamed francophones in Montreal for booing the United States anthem before a game. In this space, we have denounced his spurts of "pure bile," as we said about the visor comments in 2004.

And yet. Not everyone is given to great passion. He made his dog, Blue, famous. The whole country knew of his late wife, Rose's, battle with liver cancer. In her honour he founded a children's hospice and respite centre. To hold such a passionate voice to a standard of perfection or correctness would be ridiculous. It would be to silence him, and that would be a blow to Canada: anglophone, francophone and no phone at all. His outstanding achievement, dedication to the community and service to the country are beyond dispute.

Let Grapes wither on the vine, André Pratte, July 8.

First columnist Rex Murphy and now The Globe and Mail's editorial board have started campaigning for hockey commentator Don Cherry to be granted the Order of Canada. The reasoning goes something like this: Since someone as controversial as Henry Morgentaler has been elevated to the order, why not do the same for another controversial yet deserving figure? True, they say, Mr. Cherry has said terrible things about French Canadians and Europeans – “pure bile,” the Globe has called some of these comments – but hey, nobody's perfect!

The constitution of the Order of Canada is vague on the criteria that should guide its advisory council: “Appointments of persons as Members and honorary Members shall be made for distinguished service in or to a particular community, group or field of activity.” And it's obvious that Mr. Cherry's career is deserving in many aspects. He became a National Hockey League coach, in itself quite a feat. He is one of Canada's most knowledgeable and certainly most entertaining sports commentators. He is also involved in many charitable activities.

Reactions in Quebec about some of his controversial comments have sometimes been excessive, not taking into account the context: namely, that Mr. Cherry has built his television career on controversy. However, he has gone overboard more than once. Before the CBC finally warned him about it, he systematically attacked French-Canadian and European players, accusing them of lacking courage. He denounced the Francophone Games as diverting federal money from amateur hockey. (Not a word about the Commonwealth Games, however.) He insulted Jean-Luc Brassard, a skiing champion and Canada's standard-bearer at the 1998 Winter Olympics.

Should the advisory council put aside this prejudiced attitude? Absolutely not. Canada is built on respect and tolerance between different cultural, linguistic and religious communities, and Mr. Cherry's attacks against French Canadians trample on these most fundamental values. Notwithstanding his other accomplishments, the Order of Canada should not condone such behaviour.

David Ahenakew, the former national chief of the Assembly of First Nations who was stripped of his Order of Canada membership after making anti-Semitic comments, “permanently blotted his public record,” The Globe wrote in an editorial this April. Although Mr. Cherry's comments are certainly not as grave as those, they do express ignorance and contempt toward one of Canada's founding nations. His record is also “permanently blotted” by his statements, and that makes him unworthy of the country's highest honour. Should he be named to the order, it will be understood that intolerable comments toward some Canadian minorities are not only tolerated – they are rewarded.

André Pratte is editorial pages editor at La Presse. He is the editor of Reconquering Canada, a collection of essays by Quebec federalists to be published this fall.

The right to exaggerate (Rafe Mair), July 4.

FREE SPEECH AND FAIR COMMENT, The right to exaggerate, July 4, 2008

Rafe MairRafe MairRafe MairRafe MairRafe Mair, Kari Simpson

In a democracy, the right to be unreasonable is as important as any other right. You might say the right to free speech rests on it - on the right to exaggerate, to mock, to be unfair, to be wrong. Without this right, there could be no comedians, no newspaper columnists, no editorial cartoonists, no satirists, no Internet, no talk radio. And no Rafe Mair.

Mr. Mair, who hosts a Vancouver radio show, used unreasonable and extreme language - a comparison to Hitler, the Ku Klux Klan and Alabama's segregationist governor George Wallace - to vilify Kari Simpson, an opponent of gay rights. She sued for defamation, and British Columbia's highest court found in her favour. If that court was right, Canada has no room for Rafe Mair.

Thankfully, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled unanimously last week that the B.C. Court of Appeal was wrong. "We live in a free country where people have as much right to express outrageous and ridiculous opinions as moderate ones," Mr. Justice Ian Binnie wrote. Rafe Mair has the right to be himself.

Ms. Simpson is, like Mr. Mair, a public personality who expresses strong views in extreme language. Opposed to the use of books in Surrey schools portraying gay couples, she promoted a Declaration of Family Rights demanding that children not be taught that homosexuality is normal, acceptable or required to be tolerated. "War is not cheap, people, and we're in a war," she said in a speech. "And the spoils turn out to be our children. An exaggeration? Well, what are we to think when militant homosexuals seek to lower the age of consensual sexual intercourse between homosexual men and young boys to the age of 14?"

Mr. Mair's allegedly defamatory comment, in part: "It took me back to my childhood when with my parents we would listen to bigots who with increasing shrillness would harangue the crowds." He said he was not suggesting Ms. Simpson supported violence, but then compared her to Hitler and George Wallace: "Let the mob do as they wished." His defence was fair comment, an opinion that's safe to express without being sued.

Fair comment does mean the view of a fair person on a given set of facts. It means that anyone could honestly hold the view. The B.C. appeal court had ruled that there was no evidence on which Mr. Mair could have concluded that Ms. Simpson condoned violence, and that since he was wrong on the facts, he was not entitled to the defence of fair comment. In its confusion over what is fact and what is comment, it would cast a chill over public debate.

As the Supreme Court pointed out, Rafe Mair is a commentator, not a reporter, and Ms. Simpson's violent images could lead some listeners to believe she condoned violence.

Because it is safe to be Rafe Mair, it is also safe for other Canadians to be outspokenly themselves.

Lloyd Candow, Pasadena (about midway between Cornerbrook & Deer Lake), Newfoundland.

This guy has given me a lot of pleasure in the Globe & Mail Morning Smile over the years.

Click on the thumbnail to see complete images.
Lloyd Candow, Pasadena, NewfoundlandLloyd Candow, Pasadena, NewfoundlandLloyd Candow, Pasadena, NewfoundlandLloyd Candow, Pasadena, Newfoundland

All creatures went on board Noah's Ark in pairs, except worms. They went on board in apples.

Inflation is the price we pay for those government benefits everyone thought were free.

I have been driving a car for 60-odd years now and never had an accident. Does that make me wreckless?

Being a Liberal means never having to say you’re Tory.

In the next life I want to be a philanthropist. I understand they have lots of money.

Deja Voodoo: The feeling that you have been cursed before.

The next six months will be mainly sunny or cloudy, with dry or rainy spells. Winds will be from most directions.

Toronto hockey fans yelled, "Go Leafs go!" so much,the players finally took them literally.

I've been thinking the voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas.

Why did the rooster cross the road? For some fowl reason.

Old typists never die, they just lose their justification.

Silence is golden - duct tape is silver.

What do you call a milkman wearing high heels? A Dairy Queen.

I hear FedEx is going to merge with UPS. It will be known as FedUP.

Old salesmen never die - they just go out of commission.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

What do you call one cow spying on another cow? A steakout.

Did you know that many lives last year were caused by accidents?

Did you hear about the crocodile that ate Viagra? It suffered from a reptile dysfunction.

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask the government to stop helping me.

Bad spellers of the world untie!

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Two wrongs don't make a right , but three lefts do.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Don't join dangerous cults - practise safe sects.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

When life gives you llamas, make llamanade.

Did Noah keep his bees in arc-hives?

What would happen if pigs could fly? Bacon would go up.

What did Whistler say when he found his mother scrubbing floors? "Are you off your rocker?"

Being a Liberal means never having to say you're Tory.

Accept what you cannot change - especially if it's in large denominations.

Organic food growers are giving herbs as gifts. They say, "There's no present like the thyme."

What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.

What is the opposite of infatuation? Liposuction.

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Demons are a ghoul's best friend.

Cheer up: The worse things get, the less you have to lose.

The difference between genius and stupidity is there's a limit to genius.

The mushroom wondered why he couldn't get a date. "I'm such a fun-gi," he said.

Sign in a sporting-goods store: "Now is the discount of our winter tents."

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

There is no evidence about what happens to old skeptics, but their future is doubtful.

Remember the good old days? That's when beer foamed and water didn't.

If money doesn't grow on trees, is it just a coincidence that banks own all the branches?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out its nose?

Alcohol and calculus don't mix: Never drink and derive.

What did the Queen say after she knighted her butcher? "Arise, Sir Loin."

Don't criticize nudists. They were born that way.

I ate some cured ham today. Now, I'm wondering what it had.

What did the mother deer say to another deer? Time flies when you're having fawn.

Sometimes when I think about that cloning issue, I get beside myself.

Today, pause to consider this: He who hesitates is lost.

Money doesn't talk - it just goes without saying.

How many evolutionists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it takes eight million years.

Old burglars never die - they just steal away.

Transylvania is the model democracy because, on polling day there, every Count votes.

What do you say to a chicken before it goes on stage? "Break an egg."

The trouble with practical jokes is sometimes they get elected.

Stand-up comedy is the only thing you can do badly and no one will laugh at you.

What would you call it if the Queen's youngest son is crowned King instead of her eldest? A Coronary bypass.

Where do rats and mice go to drink during prohibition? A squeakeasy.

What do you get when you cross poison ivy and a four-leaf clover? A rash of good luck.

A long knife has been invented that cuts four loaves at a time called a four-loaf cleaver.

Cottage cheese diet: Eat your curds and weigh.

What was the greatest invention in the history of mankind? Venetian blinds. If not for them, it would have been curtains for all of us.

They say that the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body. Does that mean only left-handed people are in their right minds?

When choosing between two evils, choose the one you haven't tried before.

A, C, E-Flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

Q. What do you have if there are 100 rabbits standing in a row and 99 take a step back? A. A receding hare line.

Q. What do you get if you cross a Patriot with a small, curly-haired dog? A. Yankee Poodle.

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

What has antlers and loves cheese? A. Mickey Moose.

Q: What do you call a camel with no humps? A: Humphrey.

What do you call a nun who has just passed her bar exam? A sister-in-law.

In today's economy, why is Christopher Columbus such a good role model?He got 3,000 miles to the galleon.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

Who was the funniest man in the Bible? Sampson. He brought the house down.

Q. What do you call a fly with no wings? A. A walk.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother.

A priest, a rabbi and a Baptist minister go into an Irish bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

To err is human. To really screw things up requires a computer.

"It's about time to turn over a new leaf," Adam said to Eve. "From now on, I'm wearing the plants in this family."

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office and tells her he thinks he is turning into a dog. "Interesting," says the doctor. "Get on the couch.""No way," he replies. "I'm not allowed on the furniture."

What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A roamin' Catholic, of course.

Q. What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A. A duck-filled fatty puss.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and pulled out a little prophet.

Like Kermit would say, "Times fun when you're having flies."

Q. What will you get if you cross a honeydew and a cauliflower? A. A melon cauli baby.

Q. What did they call Bikini Atoll after the first H-bomb test? A. Nothing atoll.

Why do older people read the Bible more often than the young? Because they're cramming for their final exams, of course.

The reason why television is called a medium is because so little of it is rare or well done.

When Noah was releasing snakes from the Ark he said, "Go forth and multiply." "But Noah," they replied, "we can't do that, we're adders."

Q. Why did the cowboy prefer to buy a dachshund puppy? A. Because he wanted to get a long little doggie.

I have just started reading a book about anti-gravity and guess what? I can't put it down.

Recently, smugglers threw tons of pot overboard to avoid being apprehended. The weed drifted to shore where it was immediately eaten by gulls, kittiwakes and other sea birds. It has been reported that by the end of the week there wasn't a tern unstoned.

Mohandas Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He ate very little, which made him rather frail. And with his odd diet, he also suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-callused fragile mystic vexed by halitosis.

Q: What will you get if you cross the 401 highway with a bicycle? A: Killed.

At a recent class reunion an old classmate bragged that she had married "a politician and an honest man." In response, I asked: "Isn't that bigamy?"

What would you get if you crossed a yeti and a ceramic artist? A hairy potter.

Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A: Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.

Beer is proof that some higher power wants us to be happy.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you may get repossessed.

Gas prices are s-o-o-o high! Recently I asked the attendent to give me a $1.00's worth. He rubbed his hand over the nozzle and reached in and daubed me behind my ears.

They say a dog is a man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?

When the white man came to this country, Indians were running it. No taxes, debt, women did all the work or most of it. Medicine men were free. Men hunted and fished all the time. Then the white man came and said, "We're going to make life better."

If I had my life to live over I'd make the same mistakes.....only sooner.

My friend Gord told me the local steel plant went on a wildcat strike in Sarnia recently. Do you know what they shouted when they all marched out? "Strike while the Iron is Hot!"

My idea of a perfect summer's day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing and the lawn mower is broken.

The trouble with women in the business world, if you treat them like men they get mad and if you treat them like women your wife gets mad.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's, I'm told, because she changes it more often.

I eat moderately, I drink moderately and I exercise moderately. However, I lie excessively!

My new girlfriend is in tip-top shape.....any more top and she would tip.

I read that shortly after Adam met Eve he turned over a new leaf.

Just remember, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

Pulling out all the stops, adding fuel to the fire, opening a can of worms and putting my foot in my mouth keeps me active every day.

Living your life with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on.

I'm mad at my dog. I had to answer the door and I asked her to watch my food.

To err is human but it feels divine.

I learned early on there were two times never to argue with her. When she was tired and when she was rested.

I asked my lawyer if he would answer 2 questions for $300? He said, "Absolutely! What's the second question?"

Old cardiac surgeons never die; they just get by-passed.

Old janitors never die; they just kick the bucket.

What is confidence? Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a row-boat and taking tartarsauce with you.

I'm writing a sexy book - I think I'll call it "Catcher in the Act"

Loyd's first wife always gave him a lot of credit. Now she's got collection agencies after him.

Did you know there are more dead people than living ones and that their numbers are increasing?

You know all of us could take a lesson from the weather - it pays no attention to criticism.

Old age is like everything. To make a success of it you've got to start young.